Review: "Pain & Gain" (2013) "Gained Nothing But A Pain In My Butt"

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Are you a "Doer"?

By: Gabriel Roderick

Or are you a "Don'ter"?

While the validity of the movie raises many questions so does the choice of making this movie. Can we blame Michael Bay for another movie?

I mean you trade explosions and robots for exploding tempers and fast cars. Yes like every Michael Bay film this has many cars!

Don't get me wrong there were many things I liked about this movie such as the timeline. This took place in the 90s a very different time then today. This was a time where steroids where still new to the public, no facebook or social media outlets and of course a different overall scene.

I like how sudden give aways let you know about the film. Such as the side effects of steroids, the cheesy cellphones and of course the idea of #69.

Very cool technique!

Another film technique of his I enjoyed was every "relevant" character had a narrative that overlapped what was currently happening, somethings with quick and fast paced flashbacks that further what the character says. Seeing is believing I guess.

I liked this because I'm sick of films where the main character gives you the info on each character. However seeing as this film has three major characters and HUGE supporting characters this gives everyone their own identity adding to the idea of the cluster of a mess this situation actually was.

The cast of the film was a good choice though! Three main events is always good, Rock, Walhberg and Mackie who play; Lugo, Doyle and Doorbal respectively. However something to many egos can be bad, I couldn't tell who was cracking or feeling under the pressure more because of having three main characters.

The Rock of course outshines everyone in the film, he not only sings, he has a dark side, a compassionate side and just a sick twisted side. Rock is definitely the most convincing being his character.

Though I do have to question the validity of the film, something this fun and action can all be used to enhance a murder story.

This is also a good point as well using these men because it puts the blame of all three characters together. They're the reason of this. It's their fault. You get that feeling.

There unfortunately was a lot of things I didn't like about the film.

For one was the run time, running over 2 hours long, this essential documentary becomes to unbearable. You can truly tell a story in under 2 hours haven't they seen 60 minutes. In the beginning of the film the narrative tells you this movie takes place from September of 1994 to June of 1995. Great and dandy but 2 hours?

The film doesn't even feel like there was that huge amount of time. Only thirty days of the initial kidnapping of Kershaw are recalled. The rest is just assumed until the arrest of the men on June of 1995.

I won't ruin the rest for you but this story does have a seeming happy ending OR I guess a resolution?

They're caught tried and put on death row, all but Rock who knows what he did was wrong and eventually comes back from the dark side (After visiting it several times) and eventually is released from jail.

I don't get Michael Bays' idea of this movie?

Was capturing the fun adventures and escapades of murders that amusing? A few times during the film you are reminded of the fact that this is a true story.

Great we understand this and the movie seems really simple! So are you saying that anyone can attempt this for the "American Dream". While we constantly reminded us this true facts are filled in with humorous scenes, there are parts that remind me of the movie Dodgeball. I don't see a real connection that was trying to be made here.

I'm not sure if the character Walhberg portrays is really liked this and crazy. However if he truly believes that the Godfather movies are true representation on how to make your own success and life the American Dream, he may have it all wrong. Lugo is a bad guy yes!

We get that but why would you make him seem so human, so humorous if he's really a murder and a manipulator?

Our Honest View gives Pain & Gain, 6.25/10. This is a typical Michael Bay film leaving lots of questions and a ridiculous run time. The only difference is he changes a few key features of films like explosions and robots. There are some positives with this film but it is plagued with the fact that it's a true story and it's conveyed in a humorous light.

+ The Rock
+ Narrative

-Run Time
-Michael Bay Director
-True Story

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Review: "G.I. Joe Retaliation" (2013) "I've Seen This Before, Did Michael Bay Direct This?"

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Let me start off my review with two sentences. First, I walked in not expecting a great movie at all especially after the first. And second at least it had good previews?

The new G.I Joe sequel was definitely flawed in many many ways but it also had some great points which in my eyes was a huge improvement from the first movie. It's biggest thing that impacted it positive for at least fans was the delay. The movie was delayed nearly a year for two main reasons which happen to be my two favorite things about this movie!

The movie was delayed so it could be post converted into 3D. Which all movies seem to be 3D these days and this was a smart move. The movie looked so crisp and I found myself jumping a few times when Firefly's little firefly bombs flew past me at the Joes. Also the scene (Not a spoiler alert it's in the trailers) of Snakeyes' fighting in the mountains was amazing. The snow, bodies and swords oh my, where flying at us as the villains fell to their deaths.

The other reason for the delay was to build a stronger relationship between The Rock's character Roadblock and Channing Tatum's character Duke. Originally there wasn't going to be much build up between the two but with the rising popularity of Tatum and Rock's never dying stardom this seemed wise to build. Plus there is no mention of Rock's character in the first movie, this helps the audience fill in such gaps through the movies instead of just throwing characters into the fray.

Very wise move because this is where I found myself laughing the most through the movie though it's only for maybe the first 20 minutes. Then sadly the laughter is over and some bad things happen. Not to give anything away but Duke's and Roadblock's relationship is barley important after this point.

The delay did cause some huge problems for Hasbro though because they had to delay selling the toys for almost a year! But with Hasbro's name on the movie credits I'm sure they'll recoup their losses. 

I lied however there are 3 points of this movie that I greatly enjoyed. Besides the delay to build up the 3D and relationships, I also enjoyed the title of the movie, Retaliation. I thought like the first movie the title would pertain only to the Cobra. 

BUT!

The title however pertains not only to Cobra but the surviving Joe's after a near fatal destruction of them. 

Now that we have the good lets get to the bad.

 

This truly wasn't the worse movie I've ever seen but it was a typical action movie wearing the name of a dynasty. This movie pulls a Spiderman 3 on us, lots of villains, jumping around and of course not much plot development.  

Like I said the beginning of this movie had such potential BUT then bam nothing. We then get to see Cobra again who has changed and now looks like the real Commander Cobra from the comics and show. Corba himself has a VERY minor role. Isn't the point of the movie Commander Corba's revenge? 

 

Barley.

 

It's mostly Zartan's uncanny obsession of being not only president but ruler of the world.

 

Thankful they kept the cast from first movie that were good who still duke out their problems from the first.

I wasn't a huge fan of the fight scenes either. The first part of the movie was hard to follow with the quick moving camera angles and epic 3D. This was something they may have overlooked while doing post conversion which differently hurts the film do to it moving to quickly.

This movie jumps around constantly so I truly stopped paying attention to a point which I then had to ask a friend why they we're doing some of the things they we're doing.

The cast also included Flint and Lady Jaye (D.J. Cotrona  and Adrianna Palicki respectively) she of course being very attractive has more film time than Flint. My major complaint with this is why not utilize them properly. You bring in three new Joes and NO development how do you progress to a sequel this way?

 

The Rock's character in this movie is so bad. Ever see the movie the Marine with John Cena? That's what his character reminded me off, a block of a character with no development hell bent on being a badass. He fights Firefly (Ray Stevenson) in the movie which looks like one of Rock's wrestling matches a train wreck! 

Bruce Willis' character is General Joseph Colton, who like most Willis film adds some humor to the film. I was surprised they used him in the movie but it makes sense because he adds some light to the darkness and cloudiness of the film. Like Tatum he doesn't have much film time which hurts the Joes more than helps them.

 Our Honest View gives, G.I. Joe Retaliation 5.5 / 10. Don't get me wrong my negative comments on the movie don't make it the worse movie on the planet. It's just not a overall good movie, but it does the trick for your run of the mill action movie.  Granted the lack of their biggest assets hurt them, this movie is HUGE improvement from the first movie.

Verdict:

1. If you like corny action movies - SEE THIS MOVIE
2. If you like Michael Bay explosion type movies - SEE THIS MOVIE
3. If your a Rock Fan - SEE THIS MOVIE
4. If you like 3D - SEE THIS MOVIE 
5. If your a G.I. Joe - DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE
6. If you like plot and character development - DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE 
7. If you like Channing Tatum - DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE
8. If you like Fight scenes - DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE

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By: Gabriel Roderick